Stages in Sundanese Traditional Marriage

Marriage is a sacred thing in many tribes. The same goes for Sundanese customs, where there are many processes to undergo in a marriage. Some millennials prefer simplicity and just want it to be legal. However, it is their parents who would never allow their children to marry simply. 

For parents, their child's marriage is a symbol of the wealth they currently possess. If possible, they want the wedding to be luxurious and the talk of the neighbors. However, for the child, it is a significant expense that must be paid. For the child, simply marrying the person they love is a precious moment that should be cherished.

For friends who are curious about the long processes that occur in Sundanese traditional weddings, here is the review.

Neundeun Omong (Storing Promises)

Almost every tribe has this process, storing promises. Neundeun omong is the stage where the man expresses his interest in a woman. Usually, the man must go to the woman's house to meet her parents. It is not uncommon for the man to also bring his family when visiting the woman.

Some Sundanese skip this process due to the advancement of time. Even some parents directly arrange marriages for their children with acquaintances or friends' children.

Narosan (Proposal)

The next process is the proposal known as narosan. This process requires the man to present a complete betel leaf and binding money. This is used as a sign that the man is willing to finance the wedding.

Not only that, the man also brings a split rattan ring or what is usually called a meneng ring as a sign of commitment. In the past, the sign of commitment used a belt made of plain green or golden yellow fabric.

Mawakeun (Gift Giving)

The mawakeun or gift-giving process usually takes place a week before the marriage contract. Some items that are given include household appliances, food, money, clothing, and so on. The woman's side also reciprocates this gift by giving a gift to the man.

Ngebakan (Blessing)

As the wedding day approaches, the bride undergoes the ngebakan or blessing process. This blessing is performed by the bride with the aim of purifying both physically and spiritually. This event usually takes place during the day at the bride's house. In the ngebakan process, several things are done.

Ngecakeun Aisan

The first thing is ngecakeun aisan. This is the process where the mother symbolically carries the bride from the room, and the father brings a candle to the place of blessing.

Ngaras

This process involves the bride asking for permission to bless and wash her parents' feet.

Mixing Blessing Water

The water used to wash the feet of both parents is then mixed with seven types of fragrant flowers, usually referred to as setaman flowers.

Blessing

The bride-to-be goes to the blessing place while stepping on 7 pieces of cloth that have been prepared. The blessing begins with the mother, then the father, followed by the elders of the bride's family. The number of blessings must be odd. It can be 7, 9, or 11.

Hair Cutting

After the blessing process is complete, the next step is ngerik or hair cutting. The hair that is cut includes only the fine hairs on the face, neck, sinom hair, and godeg (the area near the ears).

Ngeyeuk Sereuh

The next process is ngeyeuk sereuh. In this process, both prospective brides ask for blessings from their respective parents. Their parents then provide advice through items brought in this process. These items serve as symbols and carry their own meanings. This process is led by the pangeuyeuk or elder appointed to lead the event.

Ngabageakeun (Meeting)

After the previous processes are completed, the next process is ngabageakeun. This process involves the bride's representative picking up the groom. The groom is given a jasmine flower necklace by the bride's mother.

Next, the bride walks towards the wedding stage flanked by both of her parents. Then she sits next to the groom, and the marriage contract begins.

Marriage Contract

The marriage contract begins just like the marriage contracts conducted by other tribes. The marriage contract usually takes place in a place of worship such as a mosque or church. Some are also held directly at the wedding reception venue.

Sungkeman

After the marriage contract goes smoothly, the newlywed couple performs sungkeman to both parents to ask for blessings and forgiveness for any mistakes made.

Saweran

After the sungkeman is completed, the next activity is saweran. The bride and groom are seated on chairs while being shaded and given some advice by their parents. Meanwhile, rice, coins, turmeric pieces, and candies are thrown. The items thrown symbolize prosperity, glory, and the sweetness of married life.

Meuleum Harupat

Next, the meuleum harupat ceremony is held. This ceremony symbolizes the resolution of household problems together. The wife burns the harupat stick held by the husband with a lit candle. This signifies that a problem can arise from either the wife or the husband.

After that, the burned harupat is placed into a jug of water held by the wife. This signifies that the wife in a household must cool down the atmosphere just like the jug filled with water.

Nincak Endog

The next process in the Sundanese traditional wedding is nincak endog. In this process, the husband steps on an egg until it breaks. The wife then cleans her husband's feet.

This process symbolizes that the wife also has the duty to advise her husband when he is wrong, but still with humility, not by shouting.

Ngaleupas Japati

The next process is releasing doves or known as ngaleupas japati. The symbol of this process is that now they are both released by their parents into the real married life. They must be responsible for themselves and not depend on their parents.

Muka Panto

The next stage of the Sundanese traditional wedding is muka panto or opening the door. The wife is inside the house while the husband is outside. The husband knocks three times and the wife opens it. This process is usually done with a back-and-forth exchange of pantun (traditional rhymes).

Huap Lingkup

Huang lingkup is the process of parents feeding their son-in-law. This process symbolizes that there is no difference in love between their own child and their son-in-law.

Pabetot Bakakak Ayam

The last wedding process is pabetot bakakak ayam. This process is performed by both brides pulling a whole roasted chicken towards each other. The symbol of this stage of the Sundanese traditional wedding is that the blessings received must be enjoyed together.

That is the long sequence of the Sundanese traditional wedding that must be undergone by Sundanese people who wish to marry. There are many symbols and moral values that can be derived from each of its processes.

What if one is Sundanese and the other is not? Of course, this requires negotiation between families to decide which customs to adopt in the marriage. Some people choose to hold two ceremonies. However, of course, two traditional ceremonies mean double the wedding budget.

Author: Iskael